Thursday, May 03, 2007
Minor meltdown

I’ve had a rough week. Monday was weird – to say the least. I got sideswiped on Pico (AGAIN!), I came in to find my therapy journal in the hands of someone else. Then after having an emergency therapy session in which I had a minor meltdown, I went and got tattooed which brings up all kinds of body image issues for me. My week has been reflected in that miasma of issues.

Under stress, my old habits start poking their noses out and trying to see what’s up.

"Hmm…maybe you don’t need to eat that…?"

"Maybe you would feel better about yourself if you threw up dinner."

"Maybe you should limit your calories to 1,300 a day or 1,100 – just to be safe."

"Maybe you’re a total whiner and people have bigger problems than this and you should just get over yourself and do something useful for a change?"

Welcome to my eating disorder. She's a mean, mutherfuckin' bitch.

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14 Comments:

Blogger Sara said...

I'm sorry you're having a rough week. Our brains play dirty with us, and it's not fair. *Hugs*

Blogger miss kendra said...

brains are evil and good for nothing.

i offer you lovin' and curiosity about your most recent work... :)

Blogger Susan said...

Take care. I'll be thinking of you.

Blogger Psychomom said...

I know that bitch too! She made me eat salad for lunch so to get back at her I drank dinner.

What tattoo did you get?

Blogger Uccellina said...

Just remember you that you have been dubbed the Goddess of Clinical Trials, and in that capacity you have at least one most fervent worshipper.

Blogger Faith said...

Thanks girls. I appreciate the lovin'.

Psychomom - I love that you drank dinner to get back at her! I'm going to blog about my tattoo soon. I'm getting a full back piece. It's incredible and my artist is amazing.

Blogger Allison said...

Faith, I'm so sorry! Indeed, it is a week of shiiite.

Blogger WineGrrl said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Kathy said...

Hi Faith – just a quick note to say THANKS for the book recommendation (It’s Not About Food…), I received my copy this week. Also, thank you for the PCOS posting. It’s something I have to look into further.
I hope you have a good weekend.
Kathy

Blogger msempower said...

Ugh when ED Survivors Kryptonite shows up it's ugly and viscous. Please know that you always have permission to show ED the door. (When ED Comes A Knockin' Kick ED's ASS Out the Door).

And, if you need a good laugh...check out my post "Six Reasons I Won't Name My Kid Ed" ;)

Last but not least, blast a little We're Not Gonna Take It...ANYMORE by the great one hit wonder TWISTED SISTA. The lyrics seem to describe ED quite well. It's by favorite recovery song.

best wishes for some peaceful moments that transform into peaceful days.

take good care of YOU!

Em

Blogger Frank said...

Cyberhug

Blogger Orangeblossoms said...

Okay, so the therapy journal alone would have put me over the edge! You are a stronger woman than I.

Blogger goodmamajama said...

Your ED can kiss my delicious, robust, juicy, cellulite ridden ass!

(You can too in a good way if you ever want to...)

Love you so much

J

Blogger Bridget said...

Who the hell was reading your journal and WHY?!?!?!?

I, like orangeblossoms, would have broken at that point.

Hang in there! Last week was a bitch for EVERYONE, apparently. Hope this week is better.

Bridget

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