Thursday, July 13, 2006
Dating women - a follow up from Crazy Aunt Purl
Crazy Aunt Purl's post today was about the lack of real men in the world of dating today.

I have to add on that dating women (which I have to disclose, I haven’t done in about 3 years, what with the breakdown and all) does not necessarily fix all problems (despite many of her readers wistful wishing that we could all be lesbians).

Women do have a better sense of how to ask another woman out on a date.

I must say that I went on one exceptionally memorable date where she asked me a week in advance, packed a picnic, drove me to the Lancaster wildflowers which were in full bloom and we hiked through the most gorgeous acres and acres of poppies I’ve ever, ever seen.

There were other problems with this one – specifically, she was vegan and after dating for a few weeks I would say, where would you like to go for dinner (since I’m an omnivore and have virtually no restrictions to my diet)? She would respond, "Anywhere you want to go." And then end up ordering fries and a salad for dinner. Annoying much?

Another memorable (first!) date I went on involved said date offering to get rid of "all of her cats" because I’m allergic. In fact I believe the exact quote was, "I always knew I'd have to get rid of my cats." Yikes! Scary! Run away!!!!!

But no!

I stuck around long enough that she somehow managed to make her way into my security gated building to stick a "gift" in my door! I ran far far away after that. I've heard that she still sometimes comes around my building asking about me 5 YEARS LATER!!!!

My point is, though I think some women are better at the whole dating thing, there are other, shall we say, complications involved in dating another female.

Disclaimer: The following are generalizations. I am not sniping, nor am I feeding the patriarchal paradigm. These are some of the things I've actually experienced.

1. The U-Haul is not a joke. If it is a joke, it is one of those jokes that has more than a shred of truth to it.

2. I've always said, there are 13 lesbians in Los Angeles, 12 of them are dating each other and it's almost time to switch.

3. Girls come with issues. Volumes. Subscriptions. Entire magazine racks full of issues. Generally we have to talk about all of them. All the time.

4. Lesbian events. Generally, she wants to go to them. They usually involve acoustic guitars. There's going to be a sign language interpreter. Not that that is a bad thing!!!

5. You might still have to put up with fantasy football.

6. There are food issues. You think straight girls have food issues? Lesbians have food issues. Vegans, vegetarians, no nuts, wheat allergies, organic, tofu-based, grassy-tasting grossness.

I'll admit. I don't eat nuts. We're all allowed our quirks. I'll also admit, I was a vegetarian for 8 long years. It was a phase. Today, I love me some barbequed cow.

One of these days I might find myself back in the dating pool. I might be surprised to see that things have changed. Or, I might not.
Stumble It!


Blogger Velveteen said...

Hi Faith,
Just wanted to let you know that even though I am a married woman, my maid of honor was of the other persuation, and she is the most wonderful person I know. That being sad, she had to date the scariest, craziest, and boring-est people I've ever met (in that order) before she found someone that truly made her happy. It is not all sunshine and roses for those on the side of the fence! In addition - I had to laugh out loud about the 12 lesbian LA switch thing... my good friend recently moved to Atlanta and ended up living in a house w/(enter random number here) lesbians. My good friend is a man who respects the fact that they are not interested in his pants, so that's no problem. What seems to be the problem is that said gals seem to be on some crazy rotation of moving in and out of the house (I believe that all Atlanta area lesbians have lived there in the last 6 months at one time or another), and dating each other. Seriously, 5% of the population should be more people than that.
Anyway - nice to read your post and when and if you jump back into that whole dating thing, good luck, sister!!

Blogger crazyauntpurl said...

OMG, Faith, this was hysterical. My favorite:

"3. Girls come with issues. Volumes. Subscriptions. Entire magazine racks full of issues. Generally we have to talk about all of them. All the time."


Blogger dizzy von damn! said...

i have libraries full of issues.

some of them come with free patterns though.

Blogger Allison said...

Lord, LA is the WORST town in which to find a decent date: straight or gay! Probably why I met my husband on a mountain in Vermont - coincidentally we both lived here.

You need to find a town where people are out and about, walking around. New York, Chicago and Philly were all great dating towns in my book. Hell, even Dallas wasn't so bad (as long as you didn't mind some of them in cowboy boots.) PS: I got hit on by more lesbians in Dallas than anywhere!

Blogger Elizabeth McClung said...

Great great post - First, obviously if you get a 5 year stalker out of a few dates - you must be a GREAT date.

I love the list - I think in lesbian relationships there should be a bell so we can alternate about talking about issues.

I laughed about the food issues too - becuase I am still trying to go to a potluck with the most amount of seperate tables for different food needs (the highest so far is three - the highest for us hosting 1 dinner party with 8 people was 4 different entrees)

Blogger MonkeyGurrrrrl said...

Dating certainly seems way more complicated here than anywhere else. I think its because everyone in LA is just a little mo' crazy than anywhere else, but I could be wrong. They could be a LOT mo' crazy.

Blogger Ellen Bloom said...

dating sucks. You never know where you stand. The best mind-set is not to care. If you don't care about meeting someone, you will. That's how I met Mr. Larry! Details later.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm going to throw Delaware into the pot. That's right, the entire state. I found the one decent guy in the state, and promptly married him.

Blogger Michelle said...

I so love the comment about 13 lesbians in LA. Here I just thought it was the L Word!

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