- Two Grandmothers
- One grandfather
- One grandmother’s husband
- sister & niece
- Mother’s first cousin, her husband and two children
- brother (whose shirt had a collar!) and his girlfriend (who wasn’t wearing a PVC corset!)
- Aunt & uncle (who are frankly, a little creepy)
- 2 first cousins
- One daughter of first cousin
I believe that is a grand total of 92 people. At least it seemed like it. I'm pretty sure I left out a few people. Elijah would not have fit at the table if he hadn't eaten in 5768 years. Ha ha. Jew joke.
I think about 67 of them asked how much weight I’ve lost and how I did it.
What is the recipe for this disaster?
First put at least 8 narcissists into a room with one 94 year old woman with Alzheimer’s disease and a 6 month old child who is teething. Add 3 other children under 12 and a haggadah. Try to keep them all quiet when reading the story of how Moses (oh Moses! Moses!) led the Jews out of slavery.
There you have it. The festival of dysfunction that is my family.
Favorite quote of the night: “When’s dinner and why aren’t there any crackers!?” from the 94 year old grandmother during the reading of the four questions. Very loudly. Maybe screaming.
Ma nishtanah ha’mishpacha hazeh mikol ha’mishpachot.