When I was growing up we didn't have bottled water. No, seriously, no bottled water for sale. I know, it's crazy.
But the latest craze in bottled refreshment are those "energy drinks". I don't drink them but they're pretty pervasive. You see the cans, like a big ol' Colt littering the streets where young'uns hang out. I've heard they're just heavily caffeinated sugar water - like JOLT cola. Some of them have minor amounts of vitamins in them just so they can say they will help your focus or concentration or some shit like that.
Anyway, my point is that Rockstar is one of these energy drinks. You've seen the black can with the gold star on the front. Who knew that this kid friendly, rock star approved drink is actually made by a bunch of racist, anti-queer, anti-immigration douchenozzles?
The founders and owners of Rockstar69 (stay classy guys!) is none other than right-wing conservative radio shock-jock Michael (Weiner) Savage, his son, Russell and his wife Janet. That's right, the people who brought you Rockstar are the same people that founded the Paul Revere Society to:
1. Support Traditional MarriageFabulous.
2. Close the Borders now.
3. Deport all illegal immigrants now.
4. Eliminate bilingual education in all states.
5. Require health tests for all recent foreign born
6. Make tax cuts permanent.
7. End Affirmative Action
8. Tort Reform - Stop Class Action Lawyers.
Esquire describes Savage thusly:
If you thought Rush Limbaugh was bad, try Michael Savage, the talk-radio host whose racist, homophobic psychobabble isn't just fueling the car stereos of eight million Americans. It's fueling the priorities of the GOP.Savage on autism:
"You know what autism is? I'll tell you what autism is," according to a copy of the broadcast captured on mediamatters.org. "In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is."
To "save the United States," lawmakers should institute "outright ban on Muslim immigration" and on "the construction of mosques"
Savage on immigrant students' hunger strike: "[L]et them fast until they starve to death. ... Go make a bomb where you came from"
And on gays:
"You've got to explain to the children ... why God told people this was wrong. You have to explain this to them in this time of mental rape that's going on. The children's minds are being raped by the homosexual mafia, that's my position. They're raping our children's minds."
And my personal favorite -- on the Nobel committee:
"90 percent of the people on the Nobel Committee are into child pornography and molestation, according to the latest scientific studies"
I, for one, would very much like to see these studies to which you refer. I have looked on the PubMed and LexisNexis and cannot find that of which you speak. Perhaps you have misspoke? /snark
You know what to do folks. Raise a teaspoon and boycott Rockstar.