There are days that I wish I believed. I wish I knew I would see my dead friends again like at the end of that AIDS movie where everybody hugs and wiggles their toes in the sand at the big beach party in heaven.
I wish everything happened for a reason, there was someone protecting us and making sure our lives were going exactly the way they were supposed to and that because I'm good and try not to gossip and make sure I do tzedakah and stand up for the righteous I'll be rewarded.
Unfortunately, I don’t believe that. At. All.
I believe that being a good person makes the world better for the person in the car next to me and for my niece and my friends’ children. I believe that no one but my mother cares whether or not I have a full body tattoo. I believe that lashon hara makes the world less livable in the here and now. I believe that saving a life is important because the person’s life you save could be the person to save your own. On the other hand, that person might kill you in an auto accident and that would be a damn shame.
I wish I believed in a justice where a man who got away with molesting his daughter in this life would get his in the next one. And that a person that gave of themselves without recognition and without reward in this life would get theirs in the next one.
Being an atheist isn’t easy. In a world where, according to a recent Newsweek poll, 94% of the population believes in a divine presence, it is lonely not believing. Especially when you're a Jew, just 1.8 percent of the American population...and queer...Arrgh!!!
Gotta tell you though...I'm having a lot of fun reading the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins...just sayin'. It's easier when someone really smart and snarky is articulating all of the arguments so well!