Thursday, March 06, 2008
Refining/Defining
I have a really good post coming up and so I've been procrastinating in putting up anything.

Clearly.

However, I've been thinking (again) about identity and it struck me that I could be posting this for the entire freakin' blogosphere to read rather than keeping it to myself.

I've written a number of posts about my identity as an atheist, as a Jewess, as queer, as a tattooed freak and as a wife.

By the way, here is a fairly old photo of the back work I'm having done. It's a lot more filled in right now.

Although, I have to admit that this thought occurred to me: If I had left it unfilled, I would be one awesomely large coloring book for my niece. Come on...wouldn't that be cool?

I mean, her drawings would wash off! Maybe I'll keep the center open and she can use the rest as a frame for her artwork...

I mean, if I'm actually pulling for winning best aunt ever, wouldn't that just cinch it?

OK - but that was a complete digression! I was talking about identity and the part of my identity that I'm currently fixated on is my career. Or rather, my next career. I've worked in HIV for between 16 and 19 years, depending on what you count as working. I think there is another identity in my future. I am looking into going back to school.

Honestly, I don't know where the money or time will come from but I don't know that any of that will get easier as I get older either. I haven't worked it all (or any of it) out yet but it's been settled on my mind like the earth on Sepulveda Blvd.

I've permanently set aside the idea of becoming a physician. I do not have the will to do that to myself. I don't know. I'm just blabbering here.

Clearly.

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7 Comments:

Blogger miss kendra said...

oh man, i need to see your back! i had totally forgotten to ask for updates. <3

Blogger Lynn said...

Faith, that is some beautiful ink. I can't wait for updates.

Blogger æ said...

I like when you post what's on your mind...the half-formed thoughts, the ones that get worked out as your fingers share them...those are my favorites.

As someone who went back to school without figuring out the money or time thing first, I have to say that it's worth it.

There isn't a money or time amount that could compare to feeling like you're doing the right thing with yourself.

xo
ae

Blogger Indianafuji said...

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing the art on your back with your blog readers. I find it so inspiring, after reading your posts about body issues, to know that you are engaged in this work of permanent body art. You continue to amaze me! And...I'm pulling for you to find what you're looking for in your next career. I just went back to school this year to be a hospital chaplain, and it's the best thing I've done for myself in the longest time.

Blogger Faith said...

thanks everyone! Last night I ran into Cost+ to wander and someone walked by me. I didn't even see him and he said "Beautiful tattoo". I swear, I never even saw him, and I rarely get comments out loud in public on it. It was actually kind of nice. It made me smile.

Blogger dale-harriet said...

This is some kinda spooky - your comments, Laurie's post - and the fact that, after announcing (at least to myself) that THIS, my 65th year, was going to be the one in which I *publish* my kiddie stories....a friend gave me 3 writing books for my birthday and I found out about a Creative Writing class, the DAY before it started! I think the Department of Getta Grip is sending a powerful message my way. (Oh,and that's some seriously beautiful ink - I love tattoos! All three o' my kids have them; I've long considered the Grateful Dead dancing rainbow bears around my ankle. THAT won't sag as I get older, right? {grin} I'm 65....pretty much the sagging elsewhere is well underway.

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