My evil plans as a mad scientist

About three years ago for halloween, I dressed up as a mad scientist complete with lab coat, smoke pouring out of a beaker (I love having access to science-y stuff). Of course, I also sprayed my hair white and did a big Einsteinian hairdo (no pictures exist of this festive costume – sorry).

Anyway, the fantasy of being a mad scientist has always intrigued me slightly. Not that I’d ever do anything particularly evil…I just like the idea of having a lair. Come on! Doesn’t having a lair sound awesome!

First off, no one can get in. Because it’s a lair – so it’s secure. I mean, if I was doing something evil, then there would have to be some way to penetrate it so the heroes could come in and save the day but since I’m not, then...impenetrable lair!

Second, good lighting. Don’t lairs always have the best lighting? I mean, there’s no natural light but you can always see what’s going on.

Third, always some fun experiment to try. I mean, if you have all that lab equipment, you might as well use it, right?

Fourth, you can see anything anywhere in the world on your view screen. This is a pretty cool thing because you don’t need CNN or Fox or MSNBC to give you the news, you can just go to the Green Zone or to the Senate floor or to the fire in the Hollywood hills. Gotta get me a view screen.

Fifth, aren’t the beds in lairs always cut out of the side like a little cave? I love the idea of sleeping in a little cave like structure. It just sounds kinda fun and cozy.

Last – of course and best…secret identity. If you have a lair, you have a secret identity. Otherwise, why the lair? I just think the secret identity is a good idea in general. If you don’t like the way things are going in one identity – say things really, really suck and you’re having a hell of a time getting people to lay off, you can just switch to your other identity and kill off the identity that is giving you trouble. Also, in superhero form, you can bring back the dead identity if you need to years later and pretend you’ve been in a coma in some old lady’s care! Or you had amnesia and were off somewhere and married to someone and had learned to play the flute in the meantime.

It could work!

Anyway. Happy Friday the 13th!