7 little words

You know that whole "lightswitch" thing we all talk about? You know, the one where we say, I know all the right things to do, I just don't know why I can't do them...I feel like I can't find the lightswitch!"

I have said this many, many times.

My theory is that it is a combination of support, practice and luck.

I am nearly nightblind so this is an excellent metaphor for me.

I'm in a dark room that I've never been in before. People keep telling me there's a lightswitch in this damn room and that to be happy, I need to find the lightswitch (actually there's more than one, but we'll get to that later).

I start by feeling around on the walls. Sometimes I trip over desks, piles of books, stupid skateboards and things in my way from the people that were in this room before me.

I get disoriented and have to go back over the same damn wall again. Sometimes, I cover a wall and figure out that the lightswitch isn't there and I can avoid going back to that wall.

Sometimes, a supportive person, a therapist, husband or friend, says something that helps me get so much closer to this lightswitch.

Sometimes, an idiot at Trader Joe's will say something stupid and I will forget that I ever was looking for lightswitches in the first place.

Sometimes the supportive people in my life are reminded that I need to find the lightswitch by myself and let me grasp around in the dark because I will feel more accomplished if I figure out where it is on my own.

Are we over the lightswitch metaphor yet?

Sometimes, a few words, written on a blog, in a book, said in passing - not meant as "help", not meant for me, specifically, will become so important that it will lead me directly to my lightswitch.

I found one of my lightswitches about a year ago when I cut white flour and sugar out of my system. I don't get migraines anymore and I don't crave sugar and bread anymore. Therefore, I am so much less likely to binge and purge. I eat fat, I eat fruit, I eat carbs -- potatoes, corn tortillas, all kinds of carbs, but I can't seem to manage white sugar and flour and I feel so much better for figuring it out.

Anyway, I think I might have found another lightswitch. It's just luck and being open to hearing it but it made a huge impact on me. It may not be your lightswitch or anyone else's for that matter. I'm excited though.

Yesterday I read 7 little words and I think they're a lightswitch. I'll let you know how it goes.

EDIT: OK. My math inadequacy has now been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. There were 9 words. Whatever.