When nothing makes sense

Sometimes things stop making sense.

• When people call you names because you are not laying down like a doormat for them
• When men slit a woman open from her vagina to her throat as a tool of war
• When a biological family member becomes a sworn enemy out of the blue
• When children are raped for the privilege of food and money
• When anyone feels entitled to touch or comment on a body when they weren't given permission.
• When I can't get drugs for our patients on a compassionate use basis because of red tape.

It makes no sense to me. But I have to have a way of dealing with these things on a daily basis, because I do deal with them on a nearly daily basis. I desperately try to remember that these people are human.

• That the man who drove by me, flipped me off and yelled something from his window may be having the worst day of his life.
• That the person who called me a fat bitch for taking a parking space has such incredible loathing for their own body that they are terrified of being anything like me
• That the Hutu men who cut off and handed a Tutsi woman her own breast in front of her mother and father were, in many cases, children when they were taken to fight other people's battles in the DNC and have not only been desensitized to this behavior but have grown up with it all around them.

I don't understand, I don't accept, I don't forgive, but I do remind myself that these are human beings.

And I never want to become so desensitized, so hateful that I become like them.