You know how some people seem like they have IT? They can just go out and they seem to be so much themselves in a room full of people.
Sometimes you have IT and you can do or say just about anything.
Sometimes you lose touch with IT entirely and you feel like no one "out there" needs to see the crap oozing from your pores in the form of self-hate.
I recently read a writing exercise that asked, "what things would you do if you had twice as much self esteem" (which is basically IT, I'm just hesitant to use the words "self esteem" because they are such loaded words. Anyway, people say I have IT, but the fact is, sometimes I am distinctly lacking any it at all. This is when I do things like, stop returning phone calls, lay in bed all day and other fairly self destructive traits I tend to sink into.
It occurred to me that if I had twice as much of IT, the list of things I would do was pretty long. This is what I came up with:
- Make my own clothing
- Sell my book
- Value my own opinion over other peoples'
- Take a swing dance class
- Take a yoga class
- Get a full back tattoo
- Get a pedicure every two weeks
- Try boxing
- Try fencing
- Look in the mirror and not say terrible things to myself
- Learn to ride a motorcycle
- Start writing my next book
And so many more that I can't think of at the moment but will add to this list as they come up.
Anyone else?
Labels: Body Electric, tattoos
5 Comments:
this is the year to do them! i'm going to finish my damn tattoo, and continue getting new ones.
and i asked for a raise.
and i'm going to dance burlesque and be proud of my body.
and i'm going to sew my little heart out!
(and i'm going to love you even more each day.)
I can't believe you don't ride a motorcycle. You really have to do that. It can be very liberating, and you find yourself with more IT that you had before!
As for me, I'm in kind of an IT-less phase right now. I hope to be IT-ful soon...
I'm keeping my resolutions close to me, because the more pressure I feel about them, the more I shut down. But they are there. And I admire yours.
If you got a pedicure twice a week, you'd increase your IT. It's kind of Catch 22 thing. Nothing boosts my IT like pretty toes.
Me? I'm making some changes. I'll tell ya'll about it when the time is right.
Peggy and I were just talking about how we love you so. You are a truly amazing friend and so generous and thoughtful. I will be sure to tell you that more.
If you want to do #7, I would love to make a regular thing out of that with you. We could go once a month together if you want. I think having pretty toenails is important.
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